Moving on from a past relationship isn’t always easy, and sometimes, lingering feelings can be hard to spot at first. If you’re dating someone and have a nagging feeling that he might still be emotionally tied to his ex, it’s important to pay attention to the signs. Whether he still talks about her, checks her social media, or avoids commitment, these behaviors could indicate unresolved feelings.
While everyone processes breakups differently, knowing where he stands emotionally can help you determine if he’s truly ready for a new relationship—or if you’re just a rebound. Here are 15 key signs that he might not be completely over his ex.
1. He Frequently Mentions His Ex
If her name comes up often—whether in passing, as a joke, or in comparison to you—it’s a red flag. While occasional mentions of an ex are normal, constantly bringing her up suggests she’s still on his mind. Pay attention to whether he speaks about her positively or negatively—either extreme could mean he still has unresolved feelings.
What It Means for You:
If he’s always talking about her, he may not have emotionally moved on, making it hard for him to fully focus on you.
2. He Keeps Tabs on Her Social Media
Does he still like her posts, watch her stories, or comment on her pictures? If he’s keeping up with her life online, he may not be over her. Some people stay friends with their exes, but if he seems overly invested in what she’s doing, it could be because he still cares too much.
What It Means for You:
If he’s still watching her every move, he might not be emotionally available for a new relationship.
3. He Still Has Her Photos and Gifts
Holding onto sentimental items from a past relationship can mean he isn’t fully ready to let go. Whether it’s a framed picture, love letters, or gifts she gave him, keeping these items in plain sight suggests he still values the connection.
What It Means for You:
If he refuses to part with these items, he may be emotionally stuck in the past.
4. He Gets Emotional When She’s Mentioned
A man who has moved on should be neutral about his ex. If he reacts with sadness, anger, or defensiveness when she comes up, it’s a sign he still has unresolved emotions.
What It Means for You:
His strong reactions indicate he may still be processing his past relationship, which could affect his ability to be fully present with you.
5. He Compares You to His Ex
Does he say things like, “My ex used to do this differently” or “You remind me of her”? If he’s making comparisons, it means he’s still using her as a benchmark.
What It Means for You:
You deserve to be seen as your own person, not as a replacement or comparison to someone else.
6. He’s Still in Regular Contact with Her
Being friends with an ex is possible, but if he’s constantly texting, calling, or meeting up with her, it’s worth questioning his intentions. If he hides these conversations from you, that’s an even bigger red flag.
What It Means for You:
Frequent communication might indicate he’s keeping her in his life as a safety net.
7. He Talks About “What Could Have Been”
If he says things like, “If only things had worked out differently,” he’s still holding onto their past. A guy who has moved on will focus on the present, not on hypothetical scenarios about his ex.
What It Means for You:
He may be struggling to accept that the relationship is over.
8. He’s Hesitant to Define Your Relationship
If he avoids labels like “boyfriend” or “exclusive,” it could be because he’s emotionally unavailable. He may not want to commit because he’s still attached to his past relationship.
What It Means for You:
You deserve clarity and commitment, not uncertainty.
9. He Keeps Her Things Around
Does he still have her hoodie, jewelry, or personal items? If he hasn’t returned them, it might be because he doesn’t want to sever ties completely.
What It Means for You:
Keeping her belongings could be a way of holding onto the past.
10. He Tries to Stay Close to Her Friends or Family
Maintaining friendships with mutual connections is one thing, but if he actively seeks out her friends or keeps in touch with her family, it might be because he still wants to be part of her life.
What It Means for You:
If he prioritizes staying connected to her circle, it could be a sign that he’s struggling to move forward.
11. He Brings Up Their Old Memories Often
Does he reminisce about “the good times” with her? If he’s constantly bringing up their shared experiences, it’s a sign that he’s still emotionally attached.
What It Means for You:
A guy who is ready for a new relationship should be focused on making new memories with you, not dwelling on his past.
12. He Avoids Taking You to Places They Used to Go Together
If he refuses to visit places they used to go—like a certain café, park, or vacation spot—it may be because those locations still carry emotional weight for him.
What It Means for You:
Avoiding these places could indicate he’s not ready to create new memories with someone else.
13. His Mood Changes When He Sees Her or Hears About Her
Does he get visibly upset, anxious, or excited when she’s around? If seeing her affects his mood drastically, it’s a sign that he’s not indifferent to her presence.
What It Means for You:
Emotional reactions suggest that she still holds power over his feelings.
14. He’s Not Fully Emotionally Available
If he seems distant, guarded, or emotionally inconsistent, it could be because his heart isn’t fully in the relationship. He may still be healing from his past.
What It Means for You:
You deserve someone who is emotionally present and invested in you.
15. He Avoids Talking About the Future with You
If he dodges discussions about long-term plans, it may be because he’s uncertain about moving forward. A guy who is still emotionally tied to his ex might struggle to see a future with someone new.
What It Means for You:
A committed partner should be willing to discuss the future with you, not avoid it.
Final Thoughts:
Recognizing these signs can help you understand whether he’s truly ready for a new relationship. If multiple signs resonate, have an open conversation with him. You deserve someone who is fully present and committed to building a future with you, not someone who is emotionally stuck in the past.
